It has been a crazy couple of months. Life held me down. However over the past few weeks I have felt myself slowly coming back around. A few years ago my friends Adam Deckard and Luke Smith did a series called “Seasons”. A person covered each season (Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring) and talked about how these can parallel with our spiritual life. I want to say I’ve been in a winter, but I really wonder if I have just skipped Summer and Spring and been flipping between fall and winter.
….for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said:
“Wake up, O sleeper,
rise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.”
I don’t want to say that I have been alseep for awhile, but I think I am coming to realize I have. It all begins with a slow decline into my “Fall” season. I can’t really recall when it occured, but I believe that it began about a year and a half ago. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had some excellent periods during this time where God has spoken to me and has done great things, but my heart was far from being wholly devoted. I was reading about that uses the word “spiritual amnesia”. I think thats what I’ve got and I am slowly being cured of.
So how has my winter began to fade and spring begun to arrive? God intervened because I placed Him first. A few weeks ago a buddy of mine, Gerry Brown, really started to push me into fasting. I shrugged it, put it off, but it really stayed on my heart. I wanted to do it. Coincidently our church was going to do a one-day fast. I decided to start the day before the church did. Gerry and Shawn Lovejoy really helped me to understand what fasting is really all about. The word “fast” literally means to “cover one’s mouth”. No food only liquid! And some people translate that to be an “extreme fast” which means no food or liquids. It is totally taking our focus off ourselves and our physical needs and totally relying on God. Sounds crazy, huh?! Well I did it. I fasted Sunday. I was hungry and totally questioning myself. Monday came around and I got through the morning well. My stomach never growled. But nothing was really happening spiritually. Gerry told me beforehand to create a list of questions that I expected God to answer. I did. I asked God for strength and wisdom in figuring out his plans for me in the fall. But Day 3 I was all wondering why God was not really giving me answers. I was doing good food-wise and drinking water. It wasn’t until day four that God showed up. I was finally relying on Him. Questions began to get answered and I was in awe. Some of the stuff he revealed I had not even asked Him about. In fact, I ended my fast early because God had answered all my questions and fullfilled every expectation. Even after the fast ended God still kept revealing things, lying things on my heart. And each day I have felt myself slowly becoming more aware of Him in my life and chains loosening around me.
How Awesome is He who ransomed me? So I am coming back alive, my spring has arrived and I only pray that I can endure on a short winter when one may come again.